Tips for starting a conversation about mental health

The last two years have been difficult for all of us. The COVID-19 pandemic has caused a huge amount of concern for the CF community, with families worrying about their health and the health of their loved ones. And many people have felt lonely and isolated if they have been shielding for long periods of time.

Coupled with the fact that living with a lifelong condition like CF can bring with it lots of different emotional challenges, it’s completely normal to feel stressed, low or anxious sometimes.

In difficult times, reaching out to your friends, family and colleagues and connecting over a brew can really help. A simple ‘how are you today?’ can make all the difference when someone is having a tough time. It can spark important conversations about our mental health and help people feel less alone in whatever emotion they may be experiencing.

Sometimes starting conversations about how we’re feeling can seem daunting. You might be worried that a friend is struggling, or have noticed a colleague hasn’t been acting like themselves recently, but knowing how and when to check in isn’t always easy.

Here are some simple tips to help you start that conversation:

Keep things informal

It doesn’t need to feel like a therapy session – try and keep things relaxed. You could take a walk in the park, or have a cuppa and chat over Facetime. It doesn’t need to be long either; just a 10-minute chat could be helpful and get that conversation started so it might feel easier to open up next time. Sometimes people might just want a distraction from what they are going through, so if a catch-up on what you’ve both been watching on the TV is needed, go with it!

Ask twice

Sometimes people say they are fine even when they are struggling. Asking twice gives people the opportunity to share what’s on their mind. A simple “How are you, really?” or “Are you sure you’re okay?” can make a big difference.

Listen without judgement

You don’t need to have all the answers, you might not even need to do much talking. Just showing that you’re there to support that person - whatever that might mean for them - can make the world feel less lonely. Turn off distractions, listen to what they are telling you without interrupting, and ask open questions like “How have you been feeling?” or “How can I help?”. It can also be helpful to remind them how common mental health problems can be. For example, one in four of us will experience a mental health problem at some time every year.

Talk about your own experiences

To help somebody open up, you could talk about your own experiences. You might not have experienced a mental health problem before, but just admitting that you feel down or lonely sometimes, or have good and bad days, can help create a safe and open space for the conversation. But try not to make assumptions based on your own experiences, or things you’ve seen on the TV or read about. Let them tell you exactly how they feel in their own words.

Have information you can signpost to

There’s lots of helpful information on mental health online that you can signpost to. Mind, Samaritans and Young Minds can be good places to start. If you think they might need some professional help, encourage them to speak to their GP or CF team about how they are feeling. You can also find out more about the different sources of support available for people with CF, for both mental and physical health, on our website.

Look after yourself

Sometimes these conversations can bring up difficult feelings and it’s good to remember to take care of your own mental health too. Be kind and take a step back if you need to.

We hope you find these tips useful when connecting with friends and family this FeBREWary. Remember, don’t let things brew… talk it through.

Sources of support

Mind

Young Minds

Every Mind Matters

Samaritans