A CF psychologist’s tips for dealing with feelings of loneliness and isolation

Loneliness is a universal human emotion that most people experience at times in their lives. It’s not just about being alone; it’s a feeling of being disconnected from others. It’s very possible to feel lonely even when surrounded by other people if the connections don't feel meaningful. Loneliness reminds us of our basic human need to relate to others; it’s not something to feel ashamed about experiencing. 

Research has shown that long-term loneliness can affect both physical and mental health. It's been linked, for example, to increased stress, weakened immunity and higher blood pressure as well as depression and anxiety.  

Building meaningful connections is the antidote to feeling lonely, and below are five ideas for how to do this: 

Connect with the CF community 

Although the risk of cross-infection prevents getting together in person with other people with CF, there are now so many creative ways to connect online instead, and for families and carers to access support this way as well.  

There are online communities, support groups, podcasts, chat groups… all of which can be a great place to interact and share experiences with other people living with CF who really ‘get it.’ 

Cystic Fibrosis Trust’s website is a great starting point for doing this! Connecting online can be an incredible source of encouragement, information sharing, and comfort.  

Connect with others 

Feelings of social isolation and loneliness are often worse when there is a lack of structure in the day, and a lack of connection with other people. Have a think about the network of people around you (friends, family, colleagues, etc), and proactively build in regular connection points with different people into each day – this could be anything from sending a brief message or phone call to meeting up in person.   

Consider reaching out and re-connecting with people who have been important to you in the past, if you’ve lost touch. Prioritise connecting with people who make you feel safe, happy and understood. If you’re struggling to find people like this, look out for opportunities to build new social connections either in person or online, such as by joining a group with a shared interest, or taking part in a work or voluntary activity that connects you with others with a shared purpose.  

(Re)connect with your values 

Research shows that doing things we enjoy, that give us a sense of achievement, and that align with what we believe to be important and meaningful, improves our happiness and wellbeing. Take time to think about and identify your core values – the things that you stand for, that motivate you, and that you really care about.  

At times, living with a chronic illness like CF can feel all-consuming and it can be really helpful to take a step back and remember all the other things that define who you are.  

Consider the things you enjoy, or have enjoyed in the past, that fit with your values – maybe a hobby, exercise, something artistic or creative, reading, gardening, being out in nature, listening to music, watching a film... keep an eye out for possible opportunities to explore and develop these interests for yourself and/or to share them with others.   

If you’re unwell, you might be unable to do the things you’d like to be able to all of the time, so have a think about what adaptations you could make that still allow you a bit of time each day to connect with the things you value the most.  

Connect with your body

Looking after your physical health goes beyond staying on top of your CF treatments and medications. Optimising sleep, nutrition and physical activity and reducing stress are all fundamental components of looking after not only your CF health, but also your overall physical and emotional wellbeing.  

Draw on the expertise of the different members of your CF team to help advise and signpost you to new ideas and creative ways to promote a holistic approach to caring for your body. For example, ask for advice on sleep strategies or stress management if you’re struggling in these areas.  

Connect with self-compassion 

A final aspect of coping with loneliness is developing a compassionate and accepting approach towards ourselves. Practising self-compassion has been shown to help people better manage stress, reduce anxiety and low mood, cope with pain, and adapt to living well with chronic illness. It involves treating ourselves with kindness, understanding and non-judgment, especially during challenging times.  

Try and tune into the way in which you talk to yourself and become aware of any tendencies towards self-criticism or negative self-talk. We’re so used to accepting the thoughts we have about ourselves as true that we don’t often take time to step back and consider whether there might be an alternative perspective. If you struggle to do this, imagine how you’d respond to a friend who was feeling lonely or isolated. What would you say and how would you say it?  

Practising mindfulness or meditation techniques can also help ground you in the present moment, reduce stress and promote self-acceptance. There are lots of apps available, like Headspace or Calm, that give you tools to develop these skills in day-to-day life. 

Lastly… remember that loneliness is a real and valid challenge for people living with CF and it's okay to feel sad about the things you miss or the connections you wish you had. If you’re struggling, let others know how you are feeling – with support and self-care it is possible to create a life filled with connection, purpose and hope.