Craig’s Father’s Day story

Before Dustin  

I knew I always wanted to be a dad. I’ve always been good with kids; people always comment on it. I never thought about when it would happen, but it was always at the back of my mind. I didn’t even know if I was infertile until I met my wife, and we tested and found out I wouldn’t be able to have kids unless we went down the IVF route, which was hard news to receive. I’ve always accepted my condition, but I knew I wanted to be a father, so giving up on having a family wasn’t on the cards for me.  

The IVF process  

When we first began talking about starting the IVF process, we were planning a wedding and moving from London to Devon. After getting settled in Devon and having been married for about a year, we decided to start family planning. But soon after that, I got sick and was in the hospital on IVs, so we decided we needed to deal with one thing at a time, and we dropped the IVF conversations and focused on me getting well.   

Once I got better, we started speaking to my CF team about IVF, who were amazing. My team are in Exeter, and they had a lot of dads with CF in their clinic, so they had great advice and gave us lots of hope that we could be a family one day.  

My wife took the brunt of the IVF as she was the one who had to take so many jabs and other medications to prepare her body, so in comparison, I didn’t have to go through too much. The first time around, it turned out the synthetic trigger injection didn’t work, which led to no eggs being found in one of her ovaries, so we had to change to another trigger injection. This injection worked, but the three eggs collected weren’t of great quality, but we continued with the one egg that turned into a blastocyst. Sadly, it didn’t stick after the two-week wait, so our first time didn’t work.   

It’s a real postcode lottery in terms of funded IVF. We were only funded the first time and didn’t have enough eggs that time around, so we had to pay for every try after. We took our time before trying again, as it felt like such a loss the first time. We repeated the egg retrieval process, which felt amazing and gave us a better chance than the funded cycle. The second time sadly didn’t turn out as we hoped with our best quality egg, but we had two frozen to use. The first frozen egg stuck and grew; Dustin ended up being one of the frozen ones!  

Having Dustin  

Dustin is now almost four years old. The name Dustin means Brave Warrior, which we chose as he was our frozen embryo and the brave fighter that could stick and grow against the odds. I sometimes joke that he’s the only member of our family that has ever been cryogenically frozen!  

Pre Kaftrio, looking after Dustin was really hard. Being responsible for this new life turned our world upside down. I was more motivated than ever to keep well and not fall ill with a newborn, so I followed my physio and medication regimes religiously, which meant my CF wasn’t as bad because of this. The worst time was at night when we’d put Dustin to sleep, and I’d finally lie down and get into bed, and my body would relax, and I’d start coughing. My coughing would wake Dustin up and start him off crying. We got no sleep which meant we were extremely sleep deprived and frustrated, but we had Dustin, and we wouldn’t change that for anything!   

Starting Kaftrio  

I started Kaftrio in October 2020, in the middle of the pandemic. It was super emotional for people at the time, but I was cautiously optimistic. I didn’t know how well it would work, but luckily, it ended up working really well, really quickly. I’m not as out of breath and don’t struggle to pick up or hold my son as much. I can run up the stairs to check on him completely fine, and I don’t cough much anymore, so I don’t disturb him. If anything, he disturbs us more by waking up and coming into our room when we are asleep!   

I’ve been able to do more day-to-day tasks like tidying up the house and being more active. I can take Dustin to the park and carry him from the house to town if he doesn’t want to walk anymore. It’s still hard work, but I don’t need as many stops to catch my breath or have a coughing fit. I have also done lots of running and played football in the hope of inspiring him too. 

Fatherhood and CF  

I had some initial concerns before becoming a dad. Would the two of us be enough if we didn’t have children? The older I got, would I become unwell, and would my health deteriorate and an infection wipe me out? My wife Robyn worried she’d be left alone; worst-case scenario, she’d be a single mother. I can’t think of the worst-case scenario. I have to deal with things as they come; otherwise, I’d be left in this mental abyss.  

We tried a couple of years ago with our last frozen embryo, but it sadly didn’t grow, which meant we would only have one child. It’s sad to think the journey is over, but we are extremely fortunate to have Dustin, so now we want to put all our energy into ensuring Dustin has the best possible life. We can’t provide him with another sibling, but we make sure he has lots of contact with his cousins and friends. When he’s older, we’ll have many conversations about how he was born and why he doesn’t have a sibling, but for now, we are enjoying being a family.   

Advice for other dads  

If I had any advice for other men with CF considering being fathers, I’d say to try to be mentally prepared and do your research. You might be lucky, and it might happen straight away, or it might not work at all. IVF has highs and catastrophic lows. But don’t give up. If IVF doesn’t work, there are other options. I have friends who have adopted and are happier than ever. 

This years Father's Day falls at the end of CF Week. If you want to find out more about CF Week and how you can get involved, visit our CF Week Page.

Cystic fibrosis (CF) is a genetic condition which causes sticky mucus to build up in the lungs and digestive system. It affects more than 10,800 people in the UK. One in 25 of us carries the faulty gene that causes it, usually without knowing.

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